January 10, 2011

Therapy

When I first started scrapbooking, I told myself that I wouldn't fall more than a year behind in my scrapbook.  I set that goal because of so many people that I have known that would be 2 and 3 years behind.  It's like the last kid's baby book is always put together haphazardly.  I have been scrapbooking for 5 years now and this is the first time I have fallen more than a year behind. 

Just over a year ago, my mom passed at away at 60 years old.  She was terminally ill and in the end, went down hill very fast.  I had planned to go visit her in the spring, but she passed two days after Christmas in 2009.  The hardest thing for me when I think about it all, she never got to meet my youngest son Colton who was born in October of 2009.  I was afraid of flying with him so young with that whole swine flu craziness was going on.  I ultimately ended up having to fly to Colorado right after she passed with both of my boys in tow and we were all sick with sinus infections too. 

It was a rough year dealing with my mom passing, I still harbor a lot of anger towards an ER doctor who told her on Christmas Eve, "You can go home and follow up with your doctor, it's not like you are going to die tomorrow."  She passed two days later.  I miss her greatly and it took quite a bit of adjusting to deal without her.  I use to speak to her almost daily.  My mom was a plethora of information when it came to kids.  I credit a lot of what I learned about being a mom from her.  She was the one person I could call anytime of day and it wouldn't matter.  I miss my mom dearly and this is why my scrapbook was stuck on her page for the last six months.  Sunday night I brought myself to sit down in front of my scrapbook and do my mom's page.  It isn't the most elegant or fancy page I've done, but I wanted something simple.  The photos are a mix of the last time I saw my mom, which was in October of 2008 and from her memorial service.


(this is what is written on the vellum)
Jean Marie Brewer
September 8, 1949 -
December 27, 2009
You will forever be loved and
Greatly missed by all.
Your laugh was infectious and
Your love was unconditional.

I need to add, it is EXTREMELY difficult to find scrapbook stuff that has to deal with the death of anyone.  Scrapbook companies out there, please make more items available that deals with honoring someone who has passed.  I must add, please excuse the horrible photo of the page, it was late and I was very emotional, still am.  Doing this post is some serious therapy for me as I have not put down any of this.  I am hoping that it will help me release some of the pain that I still have and anger that I have been harboring.

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